He Deserved The Best!
The decision was not about what I was feeling, but what my son deserved. My son deserved a 2 parent home. My son deserved parents that were ready to be parents. My son deserved to be raised by adults - not immature teenagers. My son deserved a stable home environment. My son deserved so many things, because he was my son; he deserved the best!
I Couldn't Provide What He Needed
The only reasons to keep my son were all selfish... they were all about my feelings, and what I felt I deserved or should be allowed to have or experience. Handing over my perfectly healthy baby after being with him for nine months, but only holding and seeing him for three days, was the hardest thing I have ever done.
I Know My Son Is Happy
I think about him... and sometimes, like on his birthday, I am sad... but most of the time when I think about him, I think about what a great life he has. He has a great family, good parents, a brother, a happy, stable life, a pet... all the things I would given him myself if I could have... and that is how I sleep good at night. I know he is happy, and has a solid foundation for a successful future.
That is the most a parent could want for their child... and it is what I have given my son.